24 Weeks (of Worry)

I skipped last week's update, mostly because I didn't feel that different and hadn't been to the doctor in three weeks so any new information on the baby's size was purely speculation (or a comparison to a vegetable and those grow more bizarre by the week. From a spaghetti squash to a tomato? Huh?). So... after today's appointment I feel a little more at ease sharing our progress plus I've actually noticed some changes recently (like my expanding girth, for example.)

While we're talking about all things pregnancy, let me just say... this nine-month period that can be described as thrilling, terrifying, miserable, or exciting (depending on whom or when you're asking) is pretty much a worrier's worst nightmare. At the beginning it was, "Will I bleed and find out this is over before it really began?" Then, "Is she growing? Is her heart beating?" "Why can't I feel her moving yet?" THEN, "Why hasn't she moved in *insert freakishly precise amount of time*?" "Is she still breathing?" "Does she have all her toes?" (Yeah, I know.)

AHHHH. I'm sure all pregnant women struggle with this, and it's been the biggest contributor to the fact that I absolutely refuse to google anything pregnancy related. (I have a doctor and two sisters for that.) But as someone who would definitely characterize herself as a Professional Worrier, it's taken a toll on my mental health at times. (Slight exaggeration but not much.) Every little jump, twinge, or otherwise unfamiliar feeling (which happens a lot, considering this is my first pregnancy) is cause for concern. Seriously, it's exhausting! Every milestone- another week, another trimester, another ultrasound- allows me to breathe a little sigh of relief, briefly, before the next onslaught of "what if" questions begins and I've taken off on the Crazy Train again.

And once the baby actually comes, it's not like it's over... every time one of my nieces or nephews is sick or gets hurt I realize that... good grief, this stuff never ends! I'll be worrying about this girl for-e-ver. (Spoken like Squints.) AND none of this worry even includes the actual birth/labor/delivery process which I have completely blocked out of my mind and refuse to acknowledge. (Remember that my pain tolerance is... less than zero, if that's possible.)

So these days trust is a big struggle for me. Here's the thing... other than using common sense to take care of myself, there's not a thing I can do about this baby that the Lord hasn't already planned. I have no reason to believe anything will go wrong, but then again, other people face struggles with their children every day and I'm not some kind of Special Snowflake who is immune to reality. The good news is that God is more than capable of handling me in all my neurotic nonsense so I Peter 5:7, "Casting all your care upon Him, for He careth for you," allows me to pray/worry aloud without guilt. (I try a little harder not to unload on Jonathan.)

Getting bigger!

Waiting for the doctor... I look so calm, right? 

Now that you've trudged through my weird issues, here's some news about me AND Alice- definitely more interesting! =)

How far along: 24 weeks today!

How big is baby: about 8.5 inches (an ear of corn?) and over a pound. 

Weight gain: I feel pretty good and still fit in my clothes fairly well, BUT I legit closed my eyes on the scale at the doctor today. #denial

Sleeping: Not bad now that the constant bathroom-seeking has slowed to about every hour-hour and a half and not 10 minutes. I have still been trying not to nap but on days when I'm busy (my in-laws were here this week and we went out several times), I pretty much can't make it to bedtime without one.

Food cravings: Chick-fil-A. All day, every day. And grape tomatoes. 

Food aversions: I'm not feeling salad right now (probably a shame) or pizza. 

Symptoms: My back has started hurting pretty easily (nooooo!) and I have become very, very forgetful- like, mid-sentence or mid-task. (I can't tell you how many times I have pulled out my phone to look up something and forgot what it was in the time it took to open Safari. Thanks, Alice, my former students, and old age for crashing my internal hard drive at age 26.)

Miss Anything?: I really miss all my dresses with "normal" waistlines (so, almost all of them.) I would say I miss having energy but considering my life as a teacher I guess I've just stayed exhausted most of the time. =)

Doctor’s appointment:  Today! And everything looked great. (Again, needless worrying!)

Clothes: Oooo.... I found some REALLY great maternity stuff this week so a post about all that is coming soon. (I haven't posted about clothes in far too long... right?? Sure.) Anyway, the search for maternity shorts continues- hardly any stores around here even HAVE maternity, rude- but I'm planning on looking on my trip next week.

Movement: increasing all the time! But definitely more at night and when I'm resting or sitting still. She rarely moves when I'm moving. But the flips and kicks are getting a lot stronger- she's good at keeping me awake. =)

Best moment of the week: I have to say it's just been feeling her movements a lot more strongly and starting to feel a real bond (I know, over halfway through this thing- a little late, maybe?) but I feel more and more like I'm getting to know Alice and not just this alien creature moving around inside me. (Pregnancy is a strange thing.) Also, celebrating Father's Day with Jonathan was very special.

What I’m looking forward to: going to Georgia next week and having my baby shower at my home church! 

What I did / Got for baby: my mother-in-law bought her a few things (thanks, Nana!) including a beautiful Vera Bradley dress and the cutest little chambray shirt ever. I bought her her first book (this one because I had to!) and first stuffed animal (the most precious little Bambi!) and have really started planning the nursery in earnest. We found a couple little things at Ikea but otherwise we're still in the "looking/being inspired" stage.

Prayer requests: As always, health and safety for the baby (and me- see worrisome paragraphs above) and especially safety next week as I travel home to Georgia. (And for Jonathan as he lives the bachelor life for a week!) 

Thanks for all your sweet comments with every update. We're so lucky that Alice is loved by so many wonderful people (or, you know, that you're all just amused by her nervous mother. Either way.) 


Happy Tuesday!

Ash