Thank You Note Friday

I've wanted to do this for a long time but since I've fallen off the blogging wagon (and been dragged along behind for many a dusty mile) I thought I'd go ahead and kick it off in hopes that I can make a habit of bringing you this post each Friday. Regularly scheduled posts are often the bread and butter of the blogging world (remember when I did What I Wore Wednesdays and posted hideously low-quality pictures of my outfits, complete with the classic hand-on-hip pose? humiliating great times) and while any sort of regular feature seems a bit ambitious, this one is low-key and broad enough that I think I can stick with it. We'll see.

In case you didn't make the connection, Thank You Note Friday is actually the creation of late night's Jimmy Fallon and as a loyal Fal Pal, I thought I'd continue the tradition here. (Now if only I could insert some pensive piano music... Amanda, get on that, will you?) 

Here we go. In no particular order...

-Thank you, Nosy Disguised as Concerned Neighbor Lady, for always being super interested in making sure that I have Alice appropriately dressed for whatever inclement weather we're currently facing. The best part about my interactions with you, aside from the fact that you literally holler across the street to remind me how easily babies can get ear infections, is that you sit on your porch and lurk behind a giant bush so I can't see if you're there until it's too late to avoid eye contact or pretend I didn't hear you (since you're hollering, after all.) Thank you for your concern and no, I don't put ear plugs on my baby in the cold. (I'm certain you mean ear muffs. But if you're offering ear plugs I'll take them and perhaps we'll avoid these awkward exchanges in the future.) 

-Thank you, Target Dollar Spot, for simultaneously being the best and worst thing in the civilized world. You offer all the cheaply made seasonal goods I could ever want, and many things I never knew I needed but suddenly cannot live without. Pink canisters, heart banners, valentine's dishes... I mean, isn't the American Dream defined as, "the chance to visit a conveniently located, carefully curated handful of aisles designed to siphon the money out of your bank account in three-dollar increments and take over your home wire basket by wire basket"? If so, I am living it, my friend, and all thanks to you.  

-Thank you, Library Holds System, for being the saving grace of my reading life. If I couldn't reserve books and pick them up, limiting my library trips to all of two minutes, I'd be forced to wander the shelves with my baby in tow, which sounds fun and meaningful until I remember that my baby loves to screech like a miniature pterodactyl. It's better for everyone involved that you offer this delightful service.

Thank you, Pediatrician's Office, for playing Cinderella in the waiting room. If I have to be surrounded by germy children at an ungodly hour, at least you make it tolerable with your solid movie choices. 

-Thank you, SweetTart Hearts, for being the more attractive, more delicious, less disgusting cousin to the dreaded Conversation Hearts, which look and taste like chalk. I've already purchased my first bag of the 2017 Valentine's season, and it will certainly not be my last. I'm even being generous by eating all the purple and blue hearts and leaving only the best yellow and green ones for my husband. I'm generous that way. 

-Thank you, flustered Target employee, for growing impatient while waiting on your supervisor to price check my seasonal items. I felt sorry for you, since you were powerless to choose a price on your own and your face slowly turned the color of your Target-red shirt while you sensed my urgent, screaming-baby-in-the-car-with-my-waiting-husband vibe, but it was all worth it when you threw up your hands in frustration and I ended up the real winner who got two huge bottles of Peppermint Mocha creamer for three bucks. Don't worry, I wasn't mad at you, and our delightful discussion about Harry Potter plus the creamer deal made it all worth the wait. 

-Thank you, Chip Card Readers, for being designed to make all chip-card-carrying humanity feel incredibly stupid.

"Insert chip here." 
"Oh, no ma'am, you have to slide it." 
"But it says..." 
"Well, I know but you gotta slide."
"But then why do you have..."
*Slides card in shame*

"Insert chip here."
"They won't get me this time." *Slides card instead.*
"Oh honey, those chip things are tricky. You just insert it right there."
"But last time..."
"Well it says insert right there."
"But last time it was..."
"Oh never mind."
*Inserts chip.*
*Inserts chip again and pushes it into the arbitrarily-selected and elusively-placed sweet spot that reads card information when it's in the mood to do so.*
*Survives another harrowing chip card experience.*
*Mentally wishes death and destruction on the makers of chip cards.*

"Insert chip here."
"Man, these things are tricky. I have a bit I do about this..."
*Does bit.*
"Um... here's your receipt."
*Hangs head in shame.*
*Blogs bit instead.*


The end! Happy Fri-YAY everyone, and a wonderful weekend to you all!