Baby, Etc. (11 Weeks)

So, one reason for the radio silence around here (you know, besides my constant fatigue and nausea- yay!) is that it seemed hard/impossible to describe anything going on in my life without putting it in the context of, "And, oh yeah, I'm pregnant!" The whole traveling/packing/moving across the country process was slightly altered by that little fact.

BUT finding out about it was a great time so let's start with that.

So, I've really wanted to have a baby for a while now but it's been a kind of stressful year(ish) so I figured it wasn't going to happen under the circumstances (the circumstances being figuring out where to move, moving to Goldsboro, new jobs, deputation: aka "life changes difficult for Ashley") and I figured once we moved, got settled, and life slowed down a little bit maybe it would be the right time.

And naturally, since my life responds to my plans with a raucous laugh (that's for you, Amanda!) it didn't happen that way at all.

We had been on the road for about ten days and ended our little Tour de Southeast in Georgia at my parents' church, then Jonathan headed home on Monday but I stayed for a few extra days. By Thursday, I was getting a liiiittle suspicious that I might be pregnant but I really didn't want to get my hopes up or see another negative test or be sad. In fact, I told my mom NOT to let me buy a pregnancy test because I was probably NOT pregnant and I didn't want it to be depressing. But I bought a test (actually two) and took them home.

After the first one was positive I said, "What??", grabbed the box to be sure (yep, two lines) and then because Gigi was lurking waiting in the next room I went to show her. (She says she wishes she had a picture of my face because shocked doesn't even begin to describe it!) I was saying, "It's probably wrong; it's probably wrong!" and she was like, "Um, probably not," and told me to take the other one. (What can I say? I'm thorough.) And I did and of course it was positive. (Gigi cried. I, in my shock and hard-heartedness, did not.)

And of COURSE Jonathan was 400+ miles away! Ah! Of all the big moments to be apart, this one was not ideal. And he didn't get off work for another 45 minutes which felt like an eteeeeerrrrnity. (I was saying eternity like this. You're welcome.) In the meantime, Amy came home from school and I had to pretend that all was well (and that my whole body wasn't shaking) while waiting for Jonathan to call so I could tell him first.

Amy wanted to go get free coffee (bless you, Chick-fil-A and your generosity) but I had to hold her off with a pack of lies until Jonathan fiiiinally called and I told him the happy news. I think he was a little excited:

Ignore my stupid face. 

Then we stopped at the church so my mom could be there when I told Amy (who thought the pregnancy tests in my hand were candy... baha) and a little while later went to April's house and told her (she screamed) and then FaceTimed Amanda (who also screamed and then cried.) I laughed at them both because I was still in shock/semi-denial (not that I wanted it to not be true, I just couldn't believe it was.) 

My dad's super-sappy reaction was that he couldn't believe I was having a baby in Texas. Good one, Dad. 

Jonathan told his parents and when I got home that weekend we told Ryan and Rebecca and then Mamaw and then Aunt Peggy and Uncle Walter and slowly but surely, the rest of the family. We also told a few friends but I wanted to wait for the "big announcement" until after our first appointment. (Holding off on that was a lot harder after I found that Disney announcement! Wasn't it the cutest??) 

The next few weeks were spent either being completely paranoid that something would go wrong or being completely exhausted and thus unable to pack or do anything productive, which was inconvenient given all that there was to be done. I wasn't sick at the time (glory, hallelujah) but I was just so.very.tired. All the time. When I did get teeny little bursts of energy I would pack as much as I could before the fatigue slapped me down again. (It goes without saying that Jonathan was a huge help during this time. And also my mother-in-law packed way more than I did, and so did Mamaw for that matter. I'm a lucky girl.)

By the time Moving Week rolled around, I was tired and sick (yay!) but with lots of help I made it. THEN when we got here, Jamie and Mrs. Karen were a HUGE help since I couldn't lift anything (more limiting than it sounded at first, trust me). They arranged the furniture, hung the pictures, put things away, and did everything possible to make us "at home" as quickly as possible. I would probably still be wandering around in boxes if it weren't for them. 

SO other than lots of nausea, the past few weeks have not been terrible in the pregnancy department. And finally last week it was time for our first appointment. I was more than a little nervous (stupid worst-case-scenario mind of mine!) but everything went, according to the doctor, "just right." Sounds great to me! (I was also nervous about my doctor but I loved her and sensed that she would never make me feel stupid for asking something, well, stupid.) 

On the way to the appointment! (My fear was actually more about driving than the exam.)

Little alien baby!

McNeese family of three!

Other than keeping up with the size of the baby and his basic development every week, I have read pretty much nothing so far. Most of my friends/family have said that there's no reason to read about all the things that COULD go wrong. (Again, I do just fine at conjuring up worst-case-scenarios on my own.) I'm aware of what I shouldn't be eating, etc. but other than that why torture myself with horror stories? No thanks. 

Overall, I'm still a little in shock (even 11 weeks in) that this is finally happening. For what felt like forever I was really sad every time I saw yet another pregnancy announcement and felt like it would never happen for me (even though I knew why it wasn't, if that makes sense.) But, as many friends who knew of my desire for all those months have reminded me, God's timing is perfect! I was able to tell my family and most of my friends about the pregnancy in person before we moved, I didn't have to switch doctors, I wasn't terribly sick during our move, etc. One of my favorite comments was from my friend Ellen, who simply said, "God knew!" He definitely did! 

So, these days I'm just trying to maintain some semblance of productivity (and by productivity I mean going to the pool "for exercise" and reading a lot.) There have been a few emotional days (pregnancy hormones  + a cross-country move. To quote a favorite movie, "Draw your own conclusions." =) But overall I'm just very, very thankful to be growing this little person (boy, fingers crossed! Jonathan wants a girl, so who knows?) and even more thankful that, once again, God has proven that He is infinitely better at His job than I am. 

Expect updates along the way (you're lucky I haven't chronicled a play-by-play of my sickness but no one deserves that. Maybe I'll write about the way pregnancy has you eating theee most random foods because they're all you can handle. Meanwhile, I haven't wanted coffee pretty much since the day I found all this out, so that's a shame.) 

Thanks again for all the congratulations, sweet comments, etc. Yall are the bomb! I like to think that you're genuinely rooting for me, as opposed to my older sisters who are gleefully waiting with evil grins to watch me experience pain and discomfort along with a crippling lack of sleep. That's my support system, folks. Be jealous! =)

Ash

P.S. I would post a "bump" picture but there's really nothing but "oh look she's eaten a lot lately" type stuff to see so maybe soon? Working on it. =)