Don't Squander Joy

Before I get started, I just want to say that even though some of these thoughts are kinda sad, don't get me wrong- I am generally a happy person and I'm extremely thankful for my mostly boring (in a good way) life. But like so many others I know, moms in particular, I struggle during quiet (or not-so-quiet) moments with this subject of worry. I'm okay, I promise. Don't worry about me! See what I did there? Carry on...

 I've mentioned a time or two (or ten) here that I am a worrier. My mind can go from zero to worse-case-scenario in about two seconds and no matter how many verses I read or inspirational quotes I pin, I have always struggled with worry. (A sin, yes... I know. Adding guilt to worry makes it even better! Ha!)

 Not only is worry bad for my mental well-being, it's just bad for my spirit in general. (I think social media has made this approximately one zillion times worse. Want to worry some more? Look on Facebook and behold the general awfulness of mankind at any given moment of the day.) So even though worrying does me no good and a ton of bad, I still indulge in it daily. (Why use the word indulge? Because sometimes it does feel like an indulgence- "I know this is wrong and I shouldn't do it, but I'm going to anyway." It's like McDonald's for the mind.) And then my mind (or yours) wanders to some catastrophic (albeit fictional) event and when it comes back to the present, realizes that that scenario hasn't/won't/couldn't possibly happen- or could it?! (Rinse, repeat.)

 Since I've always been a worrier, I thought I had it down pretty well (what, it's not a skill? Oops) but then... I had a baby. And my pre-baby worries were teeny tiny potatoes compared to the elaborate worries I can now concoct while Alice sleeps just a few feet away. The worrying started during my pregnancy and continues to sometimes overwhelm me... again, it doesn't take long to look around and think about what a terrifying world this is to raise a child in.

Basically me. If only worrying really were a superpower...

So, since this is something that really bothers me, I'm actively trying to make a dent in my worrying ways and kick them to the curb (not that I'll ever do that for good, because, obviously, I'm a mom now so it comes with the territory) but I am trying. I was reading this book a few months ago and an entire chapter (but this quote in particular) jumped out at me. I try to write down good quotes but even when I do they rarely stick with me and resonate the way this did.

"Don't squander joy. We can't prepare for tragedy and loss. When we turn every opportunity to feel joy into a test drive for despair, we actually diminish our resilience. Yes, softening into joy is uncomfortable. Yes, it's scary. Yes, it's vulnerable. but every time we allow ourselves to lean into joy and give in to those moments, we build resilience and cultivate hope. The joy becomes part of who we are, and when bad things happen- and they do happen- we are stronger." 

I basically need to tattoo these words onto my arm and read them every day. This is SO me! I love the use of the word "squander," which basically means waste but also sounds like "squash" and has the idea of destroying. Why would we waste or destroy our joy? If it's a precious gift from God- indeed, true joy can only be found through Christ- it's a terrible thing to purposefully squander it. Taking moments of joy and turning them into "test drives for despair" is a very, very bad habit of mine. Sometimes when I'm rocking Alice, or she's giggling with her daddy, or I'm watching her sleep (in a non-creepy way of course- ha!), I'll think of how lucky/blessed we are and how I want to freeze these moments- and then two seconds later I'm picturing how I could lose it all. WHY? Like the author said, that's actually diminishing my resilience instead of strengthening it for the inevitable hard times ahead. Another old phrase says, "Don't borrow trouble," and that's basically the same thing. 

As usual when I'm really struggling with a concept, answers for it come in pairs. The same week I read this quote, I came across the idea of worry in the context of guarding our minds when I was doing Priscilla Shirer's Bible study Armor of God (which I highly recommend.) Unfortunately I can't find my workbook (thanks to the move! It's probably in the garage...) but she talks about the fact that we have to protect our minds (with the idea of a helmet) because of the damage that worry and fear can do both mentally and even physically. (I can definitely identify.) I wish I could find my book to share exactly what she says but it was so comforting to reiterate the idea that even though I struggle with worry, God can equip me with what I need to overcome my fears. I can't equip myself, even though I try, but He can. 

So, my resolution (yes, in July) is "don't squander joy." There are plenty of actual, real-life moments that naturally make us unhappy or give cause to worry (like the news every single day!) but in moments that bring joy (and Alice gives us plenty of those!), I'll choose not to squander it. I'll try to fully engage in the joy I'm feeling even though that leaves me vulnerable to hurt and loss, and I won't "test drive despair"- such a descriptive phrase but truly something that should be avoided at all costs. If (or really when) hard times come, it's not like I'll be able to say, "I'm totally prepared for this because of that one time I was rocking my baby to sleep and started freaking out about the future!" It's better for me in every way (including in the example I set for Alice) to put my trust in God and allow myself to accept the grace He offers to help me through my worrying moments. 



Although... this girl is now pulling and crawling (instead of just her army crawl/worm) so if I have ever had a legit reason to worry it's now that she is a crazy fast, mobile, and fearless little explorer. Pray for me! It gets easier, right? (No, no it will not. I know this.)

Happy Monday! Even in this dark and scary time in our country, please choose not to squander joy. If we've ever needed to trust God and cultivate hope, it's now. <3



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Alice Juliet- Eight/Nine Months

How is that my baby has now been with us for the same length of time as my pregnancy? The past nine months have been like a blink, while pregnancy seemed to last years. It seriously blows my mind that this girl's first birthday is around the corner. How did this happen? WHY DIDN'T ANY OF YOU WARN ME? (Sob.) Okay, I'm calm now. 

 I thought about putting off this post another few days because Alice has her nine-month checkup on Tuesday and we'll know her weight and length and all that but I knew if I waited then I might not blog again until she's like three. Poor little neglected Dash of Ash! Ha! (Except... that's what I did. Oops.) Anyway, here we go... the latest and greatest on Miss Priss, who is so ridiculously big and mobile and crazy these days I can't even handle it. 


Weight and Length- we just had a checkup today and she's 18 pounds 9 ounces and 28.5 inches long! She's definitely growing! =) 

Nicknames- Alice from the Palace, Al, Ayice (the way Ella says it, like pollo. Ha!), Squish, Fatsy Patsy, Sugar Bee, Princess Pie, Jolly Holiday

Sleep- at least 10 hours at night, and her naps have gotten much better. The past two months have been a STRUGGLE on the nap front. Like, kicking and screaming (not to mention Alice doesn't like them.) Haha- seriously though. My previously jolly baby somehow morphed into this alter ego Crazy Baby and it was ROUGH. We have finally turned a corner (aka I just wait until she's obviously exhausted before trying to put her down) but there have been some tearful afternoons for both of us. Thank goodness it's gotten better. Also thank goodness she never ever acts like that at night and if I had to pick one I would pick night to go more smoothly.


Eating- she's still nursing 4 times a day and once at bedtime, with solids 3-4 times too. I'm trying to cut down the nursing to 4 times total and we're introducing new foods more often now too (including puffs. God bless puffs.) She's not picky at all and has seemingly enjoyed everything but her favorite food right now is green beans (just like her mama!) I'm not crunch by any stretch of the imagination but I do make her food myself because it's cheaper and I have nothing better to do with my time. Ha! Mostly I just cook/steam vegetables on the stove and then puree them in the blender. Easy (obviously, since I do it) and healthy. (Before you know it I'll be making my own bread or something. Psshhh. I don't have high hopes.)

Clothing- she's pretty much entirely in 9 month stuff now except for some 6 month pajamas and a few 6-9 month dresses. Still not really wearing socks or shoes ever (bad mom) but it's so hot I don't even care. 

Mood- happy! Of course, now that she's so much bigger and more aware and opinionated she likes to express herself quite a bit =)... but she is so friendly and sweet and has the biggest smiles for just about everyone! (Although when she is sad her poochie lip is SO adorable.) 

Loves- my singing (I know, I don't understand it either. =)
-wrestling with her daddy
-MOVING (crawling, pulling herself up, etc.)
-anything she can't have =) (lotion, my phone, the remote control, cords... basically anything dangerous or poisonous is like her forbidden fruit!) 
-puffs
-her rings and other little toys
-people-watching (she's nosy like her daddy!)
-tickles

 Doesn't Love- naps if she's not ready for them (#angryangryangry)
-getting in her carseat
-getting her clothes changed (soon dramatic!)
-leaving mama
-too many strangers at once 
-being held for long (she is on the GO!) 

 What I Want to Remember/Milestones- oh my word... SO many things have changed in the past couple of months! She is crawling (and FAST... she speeds around everywhere!), just started pulling herself up, walking when we hold her hands, grabbing food herself, really playing independently (instead of just putting toys in her mouth =), and just becoming such a little person. I think she's going to be left-handed because she almost always grabs for things with her left hand and transfers things to her left hand before eating them or whatever. She is starting to give kisses (open-mouthed, of course- EW! haha) and reaching for us. Still no words yet but she definitely knows our names and hers. She loves to be loved on! She loves kisses and tickles but sadly she is such a busy bee that pretty much the only snuggling I get now is when she's eating or right before she goes to sleep. =( Even with all the anti-nap tantrums and frustrations of the past several weeks, she's been the sweetest, best baby. We went to North Carolina and had family visit recently and she did great with all the different people around. I love showing her off to friends and family too (including her future husband Sawyer. =) 

What I'm Looking Forward To- I'm actually really sad about it but her first birthday is the next big thing happening... we are planning on getting family pictures done and then an Alice in Wonderland photo shoot for her so that will be fun. And planning her little party will be fun too (so will shopping for her presents. =)

Me- the last couple of months have tested me in whole new ways compared to the beginning stages of this motherhood gig. Sleep training a newborn or dealing with daily fussy times or whatever were all a piece of cake compared to the daily battle of trying to get her to nap. Nothing makes you feel like a failure like not being able to control an 8-month-old baby. And of course the Mom Guilt is strong and it's easy to lean over her crib while she's screaming and picture a lifetime of delinquent behavior that started right in this moment that you lingered for one second too long before actually leaving the room and STAYING OUT (I'm such a wimp. Ugh.) Thank goodness we've rounded that corner! Overall, as always, this is the best gig in the world. I have experienced more joy in these nine months than in my whole life. She's just the best. 


There you go! For those of you (my mom and whoever else) who read these little updates, thanks! You are singlehandedly keeping this blog going. One day I'll write about other things again, but for now it's nice to have a place to keep a record of Alice. And you can't say you mind the pictures. =) 
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(Mostly) Middle-Grade Summer Reading

The time has come, all you lucky parents, for your sweet children to be terrorizing you home for the summer. Obviously, they'll be outside playing, watching movies, eating popsicles, and getting dirty like good boys and girls, but I certainly hope that they do their fair share of reading while school's out. Of course they won't be doing a ton of "homework" but it is a good idea to at least make some reading a priority. In order to avoid kicking and screaming resistance to this plan, I'm here to help with some really great titles that will have even the most reluctant reader eager to see what happens next. 

 (By the way, these are all technically middle grade (5th-8th) but some could go a little younger or older. If you aren't sure feel free to ask me. =)


Fiction

 -The Penderwicks by Jeanne Birdsall- this series is one of the happiest discoveries I've made in a long time. These books are so sweet and funny and I love that they feel old-fashioned even though technically their setting is present day. The story of these four sisters is so good from book one to book four. 

 -The Wednesday Wars by Gary D. Schmidt- I know I've mentioned this book like a million times here but I can't help myself. It's just so good. An English teacher, Shakespeare, the Vietnam War, middle school- it's hard to describe but just get it for your kids. I promise they'll love it. (All my students did.)

 -The Templeton Twins Have an Idea by Ellis Weiner and Jeremy Holmes- I read this a couple years ago and immediately started reading it out loud to my sixth graders. The story of these clever twins who have to outwit a crazy stalker/wannabe kidnapper is told by a ridiculously hilarious and sarcastic narrator and it's just great. I need to read the sequel!

 -The Crossover by Kwame Alexander. I'll be honest- I was skeptical about a book written entirely in poetry form (mostly free verse) but this story of a middle school basketball player with a famous dad who played professionally and a brother who is equally talented on the court is really great and the structure makes it move quickly. Hand this to a sports-loving boy to prove that poetry can be cool too. =)

 -The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis- I just finished reading these to Alice (her last feeding at night is the only time she'll be still long enough for long chapters =) and it was actually my first time to read the entire series. Ugh... all the heart eyes. They are just beautiful and I got choked up several times thinking of the allegory of Christ. These are great read-aloud books.

 -The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate- I saw this recommended on Janssen's blog ages ago but I was like, "a story about a gorilla? Nah." But a few weeks ago at the library I just happened to pick it up and I fell in love with the story immediately. Ivan and his elephant friend are part of a mall-front "circus" and his telling of their life in captivity is sweet and heartbreaking at the same time.

 Additional suggestions: Harry Potter, anything by Roald Dahl, anything by Beverly Cleary, anything by Gary D. Schmidt, Jordan Sonnenblick, or Kristin Levine, the Dear America Diaries, or any Newberry winners. Oh, and Nancy Drew is always a good idea. =) 

 Non-Fiction

 -The Boys in the Boat (Young Reader's Adaptation) by Daniel James Brown- this is one of my favorite books from the past few years. It's the story of the 1936 U.S. Olympic rowing team from the University of Washington and takes a close look at each team member, particularly Joe Rantz. It seamlessly weaves biography and history with a detailed look at the sport of rowing (which is super intimidating!) and I think boys especially will love it. 

 -Unbroken (Young Reader's Adaptation) by Laura Hillenbrand- this is a difficult story to read, even tailored to young readers, but it's so important for kids to be aware of the amazing sacrifices that American heroes have made on our behalf. The story of Louis Zamperini is nothing short of astonishing and definitely something that older kids and teens should learn from and be inspired by. 

 -Chasing Lincoln's Killer by James L. Swanson- this is a detailed narrative of the race to catch John Wilkes Booth, starting with his plot to shoot the President and ending with his apprehension in a barn miles away. It amazes me that the military was able to put together such a detailed investigation with basically none of the technology available today. Pretty much all of their clues were based on eye-witness accounts but they put the pieces together regardless. Fascinating stuff!

 -BOMB: The Race to Build- and Steal- the World's Most Dangerous Weapon by Steve Sheinkin- oh man, this is SO good. The story of the journey to the atomic bomb and the countries involved in developing it (and the spying involved in the process) from the perspectives of the Americans, Germans, and Russians, reads like a novel but is totally true. 

 Some great biographies are the Heroes of the Faith series and the "Meet" series (Meet George Washington, Meet Benjamin Franklin, etc. These are especially good for younger readers.) 

 Oh, and one more thing- I highly recommend audio books, especially for struggling readers. I would definitely recommend getting an audio book AND a physical copy of the same book to allow your kids to follow along. OR if you can't get everyone to sit still long enough for chapters (and don't have the energy for reading with expression and doing a bunch of voices!) audiobooks are great for road trips. (Here is a great post about why you should try audiobooks with your kids.) 

 There you go! I hope this helps with the young readers in your life, but let's be honest- I've read and enjoyed them all so either I have the emotional level of an 11-year-old OR perhaps they're all just really great. (Let's go with the latter.) I LOVE hearing from you guys when you read something I've recommended so let me know if you check these out with your kids! Happy reading!






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Spend Out

I have always been notoriously bad about "saving" things for later. New clothes, new shoes, new notebooks (what is it about that blank paper that is so glorious that I can't bear to write on it?), sometimes even new books... It's like somehow I feel like saving things for later or reserving them for only certain occasions somehow makes them more special.

But I recently re-read Gretchen Rubin's excellent book, The Happiness Project, and one of her resolutions in her year-long quest to be happier was to "Spend Out," in which she offers two seemingly contradictory ways in which to do so: stop hoarding and let things go. I could write an obnoxiously long post about how these could apply to my own life, but this particular resolution recently manifested itself in one little way that I love a lot.

So, like I said, I tend to save/hoard stuff, and when we were moving into our house and I had the chance to redecorate several spaces, I wanted everything to be just right. One spot in particular, an empty shelf over the refrigerator, plagued me... (how pathetically easy is my life that a shelf is considered a plague? First world problems, I know.) I thought about using the shelf for storage- aka all the random stuff that wouldn't fit in the pantry- but I knew that would become an eyesore and I despise visible clutter. (My dresser drawers might be another story.)


L-R: Hobby Lobby, Target, Pioneer Woman at Walmart

But I also had a few pretty little things that I was trying to place around the kitchen, and my old tendencies popped up again- I wanted to "save" them. Why banish them up to this shelf when they could be displayed more prominently? (Mind you, very few people come to my house, so it's not like I'm trotting out this stuff for the whole neighborhood to see.) But then I remembered Gretchen's advice to "spend out." I could keep these items on the counter, waiting for the right spot, and I could junk up my shelf with the cake stand I never use (ha!) OR I could make that space pretty and not something that would make me cringe every time I look at it.

This seems like a simple thing and not worthy of a blog post, but it's something I've been thinking a lot about. Spending out, in terms of my house, means putting thought and effort into spaces that no one else might see but that I look at every day, so why not make them nice/organized/pretty? Perhaps clutter and haphazard storage solutions shouldn't bother me, but over time the tiny little irritations they spark add up. (See also: Jonathan's nightstand situation. Don't get me started. Ha!) Anyway, this shelf, besides holding some of my favorite pieces I've purchased for the house, is a daily reminder to spend out. Life's too short for your favorite shoes, or new bag, or books or whatever to sit and collect dust for no reason. Use them! (Sadly, learning this lesson years ago would have helped prevent me from somehow accumulating a drawer's worth of unused stationery and a stack of unframed pictures.)

Also, if you need practice using things up, I suggest starting with chocolate chip cookies. There's no need to ever save those.
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The Collapse of Parenting by Dr. Leonard Sax

I hardly ever write book reviews for just one book at a time- I usually combine several with my quarterly reading posts or book lists. But I haven't shut up about this book since I finished it a couple of weeks ago and I felt like it merited its own post. It's just really excellent (and if you don't believe me, ask my husband... I have talked his ear off about it and I'm also making him read it.) 


As usual, I heard about this book through Janssen (and her great review) and immediately requested it from the library. (That's basically my reading MO.) From the very first chapter, I could tell that it would not only be informative but also validating to the beliefs and opinions about children that I've established throughout my years of teaching (and thus observing a plethora of parenting styles and their results.) 

 The author is Dr. Leonard Sax, a family physician and psychologist who has, over his 30+ years of medical practice, seen firsthand the decline of parental authority and the subsequent rise of childhood obesity, overly-medicated kids and teens, and the culture of disrespect that is so rampant in the majority of homes and schools today. As he points out throughout the book, the primary problem lies in the lack of parental authority. He defines authority not as discipline (although that plays a part) but as the value that children place on their parents' opinions and instructions. Compared to twenty or even ten years ago, that value is practically nonexistent.

 When I was a teacher, I marveled at how my students sometimes talked to me... many times they didn't even consider themselves disrespectful as they contradicted, complained, or just gave me an attitude that I wouldn't have dreamed of showing to my teachers. It wouldn't have even crossed my mind, but today that type of behavior is a matter of course for American teens and even elementary-aged children. (In other countries, it's far less of an issue. I should also point out that most of my students were little darlings. =) Dr. Sax points out that this became a trend when parents stopped telling their children what to do and started suggesting, negotiating, coaxing, etc. So, rather than valuing their parents input, kids are much more interested in peer-age opinions- and whether than affirmation comes from high scores on a video game or lots of likes on Instagram, it has little to do with parental authority. 

 It's natural that a breakdown in authority has led to kids who are inactive (hence the rising childhood obesity rates), overly medicated (the terrifying ramifications of using high-powered drugs on children have yet to even be explored fully), academically backward (the author cites another favorite of mine, The Smartest Kids in the World, which discusses in detail American education in comparison to international classrooms), and most importantly, fragile. In a world of "safe spaces" on college campuses and the inability for anyone to make a joke about, well, anything, it's pretty obvious that this last point is manifesting itself in a big way. 

 The first few chapters are a little depressing. Reading about how awful some of these kids act is almost as much of a bummer as reading about how their parents just sit there and don't bat an eye at their behavior. (The chapter on medications alone was heartbreaking.) But the second half of the book focuses on solutions- namely, that we must teach our children self-control, conscientiousness, humility, and the meaning of life, along with spending quality time with them. The subtitle, "How We Hurt Our Kids when We Treat Them Like Grownups," doesn't mean giving them responsibilities and important tasks; it means that we are handing over the authority for choices and desires that they literally are not capable of making wisely. 

 There are so many nuggets of wisdom and so many great examples that it's hard to narrow them down, but my biggest takeaway was probably his advice about screen time and the damaging affects that unsupervised, limitless screen time can have. It's a pretty fast read and definitely doesn't feel like a textbook; the statistics are balanced with lots of real-life examples. The media (and my own life experiences) have made it clear that many, many young people today are entitled, extremely sensitive, and totally apathetic toward what their parents and teachers think. Obviously that's not a good thing, and the results are a lot more serious than just a teenager rolling his eyes. (Also, out-of-control behavior is hardly limited to teenagers- children are rebelling and "giving orders" at home at younger and younger ages.) 

 If I could force this book into the hands of every parent (and teacher) I know, I would. It's that good. (I also might shake their shoulders and say, "READ THIS!" in the nicest way possible.) I know I only have one child (and she's seven months old, so we're not too worried about her "attitude" just yet =) but these are things that I want to have decided months and even years before I actually have to test them. It's hard to be "that parent" who limits screen time and social media, maintains their authority, and makes time for family time that includes hard work and meaningful conversation, but it can be done. The "easy way out" actually leads to some terribly hard results, and Dr. Sax paints that unfortunate picture very clearly. 

 We're just getting started on this parenting journey and just want to do the best we can. Here's hoping the worst thing I'll ever do to Alice is force her into matching outfits. =)


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Alice Juliet- Six/Seven Months

Well, fancy meeting you here... we haven't seen each other (minus my ode to apartment living ) since this time a couple months ago.  Oops! Have I officially morphed into a mommy blogger? Actually, I have several non-Alice-themed posts bouncing around in my tired little brain so perhaps soon you can read about something here that is a little more informative than my daughter's latest eating habits. (But be honest, do you really want to?? =) I had her six month post all ready to go but then I never got around to posting it because we were settling in the house and hanging pictures and... I'm lazy. So a combination post it is.

 Here we go... the latest on my SEVEN MONTH OLD baby. (Sob.)

Six Months


Seven months- she looks SO old to me here. =(


 Weight and Length- I'm not entirely sure because according to her last doctor's appointment, she weighs 15.5 pounds and is 27.5 inches long, BUT for some reason I just feel like one of those numbers might be off. If you've never seen a baby get measured at the doctor, it's hardly a science... they literally just draw a line at her head and her feet. Those measurements put her at 25/50% for weight and the 90th percentile for length! The doctor did tell me her weight and length growth would be disproportionate as she becomes more mobile but still... I think she weighs a little more. But I don't have a scale at home because ignorance is bliss (right?) so we shall see. 

Nicknames- Alice from the Palace, Squish, Sissy, Sissy Sue (my dad always called all of us girls Sissy and I've started doing it subconsciously), Sugar, Sugar Pie Honey Bun (you know I love you!), Sugar Bee, Princess, Princess Pie (apparently I've got dessert on the brain) This baby does not lack for terms of endearment!

Sleep- still around 9-10 hours a night... she's doing a lot better with sleeping in again now that we have real curtains in her room. Her room has an enormous window and we finally found some pretty room-darkening curtains that don't look like airplane seat upholstery. (Why is that?) They are from JC Penney and were a really good deal if you are looking for some! (From Alice's sleep to a curtain commercial... oops.) Her naps are not that great... she likes to use me as a (literal) body pillow and since the move and a million interruptions to her schedule she naps slightly sporadically. I make sure she gets at least two good naps a day still... they just don't always happen at the same time. On an ideal day, she'll take a long nap in the morning and a shorter nap in the afternoon. Since she sleeps so well at night, I can't complain!

Eating- she's still nursing every 3ish hours, but has tried a ton of new foods! She eats food at least once a day, sometimes twice, and has tried applesauce, bananas, green beans, carrots, mashed potatoes, avocado, and Chick-fil-A ice cream. (Just a taste! =) She is a great (if messy) little eater and her favorite food so far is applesauce, but she hasn't turned up her nose at anything yet! 

She's loving the high chair life! And if you're looking for a high chair, I highly recommend this one from IKEA. It's easy to wipe down, lightweight but sturdy, and the best part is it's $20. 
Clothing- after her 3-6 month pajamas were really... um, working overtime (aka straining snaps!) we finally got her a few new pairs and they're all 6 or 6-9 mo. Her onesies are all 6mo, and her dresses and rompers are mostly 6-9. She still has a long torso and short little legs so she can wear bigger tops (like 9mo) and they're fine. I am loving putting her in her little summery rompers. Dressing this girl is one of the most fun parts of this mom job! =)

Mood- jolly, jolly, jolly. This girl amazes me... even though her little world has been rocked in the past few weeks with the move, different room, changing schedules, etc., she is mostly so very happy and just rolls with it all. She definitely has her grumpy moments (#hangry) but she is so sweet and curious and I love it. She's super friendly and her smile charms people everywhere we go.

Loves-
-being carried by daddy
-singing with mama 
-music of any kind (but her Alice in Wonderland song instantly calms her down)
-teething toys
-this ridiculous voice I do that sounds kind of like Arnold Scharzeneggar? I started talking like to Emily and Steven years ago and they thought it was hilarious so I tried it on her a while back and she LOVES it. Like, belly laughs. It cracks me up! Welcome to a lifetime of looking like an idiot to amuse my child.
-rolling and scooting 
-chewing anything and everything (including any tag on blankets and toys. Ugh!)
-pulling my hair 
-my piano playing (poor kid doesn't know any better.)
-her stacking rings
-applesauce
-Our pastor... seriously, she's obsessed with him. It's hilarious.
-her toes (apparently they're delicious)

I dare you to find a cuter picture! You can't do it! 

Doesn't Love-
-being put down when she's upset. Or sitting down with someone when she's upset. Only walking around will do. Dance, puppet, dance! (I'm the puppet.)
-being still- she's always on the move!-being in the car (I thought it was the carseat but she's fine in the stroller.)
-face planting on the carpet (not that I let that happen. #badmama)
-a hairbow/headband, especially when she's tired
-shoes/socks- she refuses to keep them on. Basically she looks like a little waif when I give up on her bow and socks after like ten minutes. 


What I Want to Remember/Milestones- she has changed SO much these past two months. She's so big, she's sitting up longer by herself, jabbering away, reaching for me when she wants to be picked up, able to grab and hold things better, trying to push up and crawl (nooooo!), and just showing her little personality more and more. She's very friendly and sociable but is also content to sit and play with her toys or chew on  read her books by herself. She lights up when her daddy comes home from work (don't we all?!) but wants me when she's upset. She moved to a high chair! Her half-birthday was so fun! She wore her Alice dress and over the past month we've accumulated almost all the Alice in Wonderland toys the Disney Store has to offer. (#onlychildperks) My first "official" Mother's Day was really special and sweet. We moved into our house and got her new room set up. Overall I just want to remember this as such a special, happy couple of months. We sing and dance and play and read all day and have the best time! (And sometimes we're waiting by the door when daddy gets home... there are ups and downs. =) 

What I'm Looking Forward To- summer! Well, not the horrendous heat, but family visiting, maybe a few day trips, and the little pool we just bought to put in the driveway. =) Oh, and since I got the most beautiful bike for Mother's Day, I know we'll be biking and jogging (well, Jonathan will jog) with the stroller.

Me- the past two months have been a big transition. I'm not a huge fan of change anyway, but having to adjust and add new things to our finely honed schedule has been a challenge for me. Introducing solids is a good example- after getting nursing down to a science, it's time to change things up and have to figure out a whole new world of what to feed her, when to feed her, what to mix with what, what texture is best... all that jazz. I'm slowly learning that motherhood consists of mastering something only to have to abandon it for the next thing that starts you back at square one. So fun! =) But it really is fun... and every smile and squeeze and disgusting, open-mouthed kiss from my girl is worth all the stress and second-guessing and feeling inadequate much of the time. 

 There you go... more than anyone needs to know but I want to write these things down so I don't forget! (Thanks to Alice, my memory is quickly fading... it's joined my left eyebrow in the list of things hormones have taken from me. I wish I were kidding.)





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Pros and Cons of Apartment Living

We've been in our house for almost a month now, so I've had a little time to reflect on almost six years of apartment life. From our first little tiny place in Goldsboro (good old Ash Street!) to our New Bern townhouse to our Texas apartment, we've had varying experiences over the years but overall I really enjoyed living in each of those spaces. I was going to write "things I miss about apartment life" and then I changed it to "things I don't miss" and then I got smart and decided to combine the two. =)

 Pro: Quick cleaning. I am a bit of a neat freak (in visible spaces, anyway... my closet can be another story sometimes!) and only having a few hundred square feet to keep clean was awesome. It was also awesome that even deep cleaning took under an hour. Honestly, it doesn't take a whole lot longer than that to clean my house because I don't like cleaning so I do it as quickly as possible =) but still. I could deep clean the apartment in like 45 minutes, which was great.

 Con: loud neighbors. Somehow, no matter where we lived, we managed to be stuck under or over couples who hated each other and loved to scream at each other at all hours of the night. (I wish I were exaggerating.) Beyond the cursing, there was usually stomping, loud music (this last downstairs neighbor inexplicably loved techno) and partying on the patio right under our bedroom. (So fun!) I'm sure we weren't always the best either, with our screaming newborn and all, but we tried to be considerate (and we weren't hurling profanities back and forth at 2 am! Ah!) I did the whole broomstick on the floor thing a few weeks before we left because you wake up my baby, you deal with my wrath! #mamabear

 Pro: Maintenance crew. When something broke, it wasn't really our problem; we could just call and someone would come fix it. Now we have a two-person maintenance crew: me and Jonathan( really just me, because let's be honest- that's not my jam.) And even though we're educated in other areas, we're not exactly fix-it people. At least Jonathan is good at figuring out instructions and when all else fails, there's YouTube. 

 Con: Three. Flights. of. Stairs. One of the main reasons we moved from our apartment (and this sounds crazy, but it's not) was that we were on the third floor and there were no elevators. Carrying a baby in a carseat + third floor + Texas heat = no bueno. I seriously did not want to deal with that with the summer and 100+ temperatures coming. (Also a certain baby in this house is only getting heavier as the days go by so... yeah. Not happening.) 

No more stairs! Woohoo!

 Pro: No bugs! Since we were on the third floor, it was extremely hard for bugs to make it all the way up to our apartment. I've killed more bugs in the month we've lived in this house than I did in a whole year in our last apartment. (This includes a roach Jonathan killed tonight so I'm considering burning the house down. Nope, nope, nope.) 

 Con: Limited Storage/Customization. (I'm combining these!) Our apartment had pretty good closet space but there was still not much room for all of our junk seasonal stuff, tools, etc. (Tools sounds better... mostly we needed room for our books.) And not being able to paint meant that every room was the exact same color so that got old quickly. We haven't made huge cosmetic changes to our house but at least we have the option if we want to, and we have painted so that every space isn't a sea of khaki-colored walls. 

 Pro: the pool. THE POOOOOOOL. Seriously, y'all... I've been in mourning ever since we moved because that pool was seriously my favorite thing ever. (Plus this time last year I already had a great tan.) It wasn't just a pool, either... it was gorgeous and the majority of the time I was the only person there so I really felt like it was mine. =( 

Goodbye, old friend. 

I'm so thankful for all the memories of our years in apartments (even those shouting matches are a little funny now.) But I am loving our house and all the extra space... we're really settled now and hopefully I'll get some good pictures together to share soon. (Just don't ask to see the garage. Now that we finally have one we're definitely putting it to good use! #hoarders) 


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