Amy Jane- Two Months

Well, it's nearly 10:00 PM on the day that Amy Jane turns two months old and I'm just sitting down to write this post because I didn't even think about it until this morning and then this afternoon I could have written it while Alice was asleep but I chose to take a nap. (#priorities) Even tonight I thought about skipping it (mainly because practically zero people care and despite the nap I'm still tired) but I was so faithful to do these with Alice and I'm thankful to have the written record of her first year because goodness knows I've forgotten so many things. Plus I'd hate for Amy Jane to grow up and be like, "Mom, where are my tediously long blog posts detailing every moment of my early life?" and I'd just have to shrug and say, "I was napping." (I mean, I was napping, but I'm trying to do both.)

I can't believe this baby is two months old because, weirdly enough, it doesn't seem like it's been that long. I mean, the actual day she was born and the time leading up to that feel like forever ago, but I think that's mostly because during the last few weeks of pregnancy time just stands still and your life is a blur of groaning, sleeping, and going to the bathroom every three minutes (thank goodness the toilet paper shortage hadn't happened yet). But the actual time she's been here has just flown by and has seemed shorter than two months. Well, April flew by. March did feel like its own year, didn't it? Good grief. What a time to be alive.

Anyway... on to happier things.

Weight and Length: I actually know this because she finally got to see the doctor today for the first time since she was a few days old. She is 10 pounds 2 ounces (up two pounds from birth) and 23.75 inches long (almost 4 inches from birth!). For reference, she is one pound lighter but one inch longer than Alice at the same age, who was already turning into the little butterball she would later become. It looks like for now Amy Jane is going to be tall and skinny like her daddy!

Nicknames: Sisert (Alice's pronunciation of Sister), Dot (from A Bug's Life... it's the eyes!), Bean, Little Nugget, and many other obnoxiously sappy and ridiculously terms of endearment that usually reference some type of dessert

Happy girl!

Sleep: I hesitate to even write about this because I don't want to make anyone hate me, especially other moms of newborns, but she's sleeping about 7 hours consistently every night. I KNOW. It's such a gift and I think the Lord just really knew what I could handle right now and chose to give me a baby who slept well. (See multiple references to naps above.) She is sleeping from around 12:30-7:30 (give or take about 30 minutes). Like Alice, she sometimes struggles to actually fall asleep, but then stays asleep all night. Such a gift and one I am genuinely grateful for.

Eating: She's on a good 3 hour schedule right now... occasionally she needs it to be 2-2.5 but it's almost always 3. (Although last night's cluster feeding would suggest otherwise... so thankful those are few and far between. Yikes.)

One day I'll get a picture where they're both happy, but for now this seems to sum up their relationship pretty well. Pure joy and total confusion. =)

Clothing: Because she's so long, she's outgrowing most of her newborn sleepers, but her 0-3 ones are hilariously big because she's so skinny. Ha! I need to get her a few from Carter's because they run much slimmer. I've tried to hold off on buying her very much since we're still not really going anywhere, but it's too warm for her to wear sleepers while we're outside so I'll probably pick out a few little things for spring and summer (all of Al's 0-3 clothes are winter so hand-me-downs are out). It's a chore to shop for baby clothes, but I guess I can take one for the team.

Mood: She has gotten SO smiley in the last few weeks and I love it. She was very stingy with her smiles until recently but now she loves to smile at us, especially her daddy! Unfortunately, her witching hour seems to be between 10-11 at night, but thank goodness Alice is a sound sleeper and the crying doesn't wake her up. She's pretty content unless she's hungry or wet!

Lots of these lately.

Loves: Daddy (specifically being held in the carrier)
Music
Her paci
Being swaddled
Baths
Swinging
Her bouncy seat (in small doses)
Alice (in small doses =)

Doesn't Love: Tummy time (Alice hated it too)
Riding in the car
Being wet
Being ignored (aka not being looked at or held) for long
Having her clothes changed

What I Want to Remember/Milestones: She is really starting to show her personality... like I said, she has been smiling so much more and has been super alert and starting to recognize each of us more  distinctly. She's especially interested in following Alice with her eyes and being interested in what IN the world she's doing (don't worry, honey... she bewilders us all on a daily basis. =) She discovered herself in the mirror, so that was delightful. We don't do it every day, but as often as we can before her nap, Alice will lay on the bed while I feed the baby and I'll read or we'll listen to an audiobook. I love how Alice is so affectionate with her and is constantly saying, "Oh, my baby. It's okay, my baby. Come here, my baby." (Ironically, she becomes my baby and Alice rejects all ownership when any work is required of her regarding her sister. Ha!) I am thankful for all the time we've had together as a family to walk, swing, and play without needing to rush around to the next thing all the time.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Oh, man. Ultimately, I'm looking forward to this crazy virus getting under control and things moving toward a safe return to places reopening (I might have cried a little when the governor authorized libraries to open back up soon). We miss our church family, our friends at the Y and the library, and (obviously) just the chance to go out to parks and normal places. So even though we are proceeding with caution (especially with the baby) and maintaining all the safe practices that are being recommended, you better believe we will be thrilled to get back to at least part of our normal routine! (Ask me how I feel when Jonathan eventually goes back to work and I actually have to solo parent for the first time in months.) Other than that, we are going to North Carolina in June (fingers crossed for no more flight changes!) and we are so looking forward to the rest of our families meeting Amy Jane for the first time! (Also, good barbecue. Don't @ me, Texans.)

Me: I'm okay. I'm a lot better than I was a month ago. It is still risky business for me to spend much time online or looking at the news because I can spiral pretty quickly, but I think I've gotten to a pretty good place of staying informed without overloading myself. I've also started exercising again after finally getting back to my doctor to be checked out and she says I'm back to normal (that's debatable... =) I'm ready to get back in shape and for all my pants to fit again... that said, I'm starving all the time thanks to breastfeeding, so I'm trying to eat well while also giving myself permission to enjoy the occasional treat (and by treat I mean handful of Golden Oreos. You quarantine your way and I will quarantine mine).

I think in terms of parenting, I'm still navigating having two kids and trying to figure out how to really give the best of myself to both of them. Alice still needs a lot from me and even though she doesn't act jealous about the baby, I can tell when she is wanting more one-on-one time so I try to make it happen as much as I can. Amy Jane's needs are pretty simple (and I can't really physically give her any more than I already do!) but I still feel like we're getting to know each other, if that makes sense. It's so funny to have a daughter who is four and a half and who I know like the back of my hand and to have one who is two months old and is still very much a mystery to me in a lot of ways. Sometimes I just stare at her and wonder what she's thinking and who she'll become. I didn't know that about Alice either but now I do (as much as I can at her age) but I just have to wait and see.

It's a little hard for me not to know what's coming, but honestly, it's for the best (and I say that as a 6!). If I had known the road we'd walk down with Alice's speech before it all happened, I would have just curled up in the fetal position and cried. But of course it was the best thing that could have happened to me as a mom, and I'm more thankful than ever than it was with my firstborn. I was talking to one of my sisters today about expectations with your kids versus with your students (since I've had both) and I got to thinking all over again about how wildly different (in many ways) this whole motherhood journey has been from what I imagined. Motherhood is such a collection of paradoxes. It's natural but incredibly difficult, joyful and terrifying, exhausting and empowering. And as I watch both my girls become who they will be, I find more often than not that they are making me more fully who I am in the process.

She is such a sweetheart.

Anyway, that's enough deep thoughts for tonight. I'm sleepy and rambling...never a good combination. And I'm just getting this in under the wire for the actual 2-month date, but Amy Jane, never let it be said that your mom didn't love you enough to write way too much about your sizing needs and sleep habits on the internet.