Thank you, IKEA, for basically being the Pied Piper of retail stores. "Oh, we'll just look around..." You're probably snickering in Swedish at all of us suckers who come in with the best of intentions and leave having spent ten trillion dollars on potted plants and furniture WE HAVE TO ASSEMBLE OURSELVES. "Man, Americans are really dumb. They're practically paying us to make them work." (*Evil laugh, eats more meatballs.*) But seriously, thank you for your insanely cheap picture frames and magical AS IS section where I purchased a perfectly good boxwood wreath for a whopping $5. All the praise hands.
Thank you, my dear cousin Charity, for alerting me to the amazing, glorious wonder that is this Alice in Wonderland bedding collection from The Land of Nod. Be right back... just gonna go sell some plasma really quick. (Oh my word!) Here's the thing... I'll never be able to NOT buy (or at least be tempted by) all the Alice things because everyone sends them to me! All my friends are like, "I think of you every time I see something Alice," and I'm like, "I know! I can't escape temptation!" My next child is going to have a non-literary/Disney name, for sure. (#notpregnant)
Thank you, Cadbury Eggs, for simultaneously bringing me joy and also being my annual springtime nemesis. You may be mini, but with the way I consume you, I certainly will not be.
Thank you, all the brave and committed souls who made it through my InstaStory book review this week (and who commented! Yay!) I know that those posts are really long (and some people don't love me enough- cough Amy cough-) to watch to the end but if you did and you enjoyed it, I'm so grateful that you were mildly entertained. And if you're really anxious for me to offer my daily routine in a hair and makeup tutorial, I may just be generous enough to oblige one of these days. (#hahajk #thatwouldberich)
I know... that's a lot of dots. In the words of another cousin, "My thumb is sore from swiping through your story." Also, please don't be intimated by my beauty. (#nofilter.)
Thank you, Gymboree, for making the cutest baby sneakers I've ever seen. Also for marking them down to $7. Now let's make those available for adults because I would most definitely wear those bad boys every single day.
I mean, come on!
Thank you, people on buy/sell/trade pages, for trying to talk down the price of a $10 mirror while trying to charge $450 for a Kleenex you found in your pocket. (Slight exaggeration but really.) ALSO thank you for reserving an item for sale, agreeing upon a time and place to meet, and then not showing up and apparently tossing your phone into the toilet in order to avoid answering any messages. (Happened to me twice this week- two different people.) May I speak for all of us when I say- you are literally the worst.
Thank you, Target in Magnolia (yes, that specific one... the one I could walk to from our apartment, may it rest in peace) for having THE best dollar section in the land. I mean, that's not necessarily a good thing (pesky budget! pesky bills!) but when I need a wooden tray or a fake succulent, you do not disappoint. Now give dollar section lessons to the Target by my house.
Thank you, Alice, for not only somehow possessing a Go-go-Gadget type superpower, but also using it to reach an inexplicable distance across the bathroom counter and break my adorable, custom-made coffee mug. It's a good thing you're cute because I don't know anyone else I would be able to forgive for such a devastating incident. (Am I being melodramatic? Oh, I don't know... my mug said, "I'm silently correcting your grammar," so yes, it was the best mug ever and my sweet friend Emma made it and I'm still upset, okay? Give me time to grieve.)
Thank you, TimeHop, for gems like this one. Our Psych-watching/loving society was and is near and dear to my heart. And apparently we all had to have dark brown hair and bangs to secure membership. Oh, Psych. How I miss your pineapple goodness. (And Rory and Claire. Not Amy, because she won't watch my book reviews.)
And there it is. Happy Friday, my friends! Go forth into the weekend with a smile (unlike me... starting a soda fast today. Send prayers.)