Temptation...

So... our church is having a family conference this week, and tonight the sermon was on temptation. I listened attentively, took notes, and inwardly noted some areas in which I could improve. Then I came home and ate a stack of Thin Mints.

The irony of the situation is not lost on me.

Now, is eating Thin Mints a spiritual matter? No (although, it was a pretty heavenly experience.) The point is,  I am extremely talented in the area of justifying any type of "treat" that equals cheating on my diet. 
"I had a long day... I deserve Thin Mints!"
"We're on a date... I should order something special!"
"I'm out of town... who counts points on vacation?"

Ugh... why is this so hard??? (Yes, I'm about a go on a rant about dieting... again. Buckle up and hang on.)
Here's my thing... I just want to eat and not think about it. I may have mentioned this before, but I'm a major salty person... chips, crackers, salsa, popcorn, all that stuff appeals to me more than sweets (other than cookies, obviously.) But I don't want to count out 27 cracker chips, or a "handful" (or two) or pretzels, or whatever. I just want to EAT... is this too much to ask, people??? Don't make me number this stuff! What can I say... I just have an emotional attachment to food sometimes, and whatever the points are shouldn't matter. Can you put a price tag, or a points tag, on happiness? This is where people reach a low point... as in throwing in the towel and eating a shameful portion of Girl Scout cookies. 

Plus, when I do seem to really try and eat something "good" (and by good I mean healthy, not really good... and I know all my health nut friends are mentally shaking me and trying to say that the two are not mutually exclusive... agree to disagree) it backfires. Case in point: the other morning we went to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast. Did I order a chocolate donut like I wanted to? Nope... obedient Ashley ordered something that was only a few points and didn't sound awful. 

Then we pulled away from the drive-thru and I unwrapped this bad boy. I tried to eat it, but didn't get any further than this picture. Gaaaag me. Can you even tell what that is? I'm pretty sure disappointment was listed as one of the ingredients.

In fact, I've become convinced recently that Eve ate the forbidden fruit because she was on Weight Watchers and was desperate to find a zero-point food that she actually enjoyed. See? Dieting caused the fall of man.

Now I'm just being melodramatic. 

But really... if I have the munchies, salad is just not going to cut it. Eating an orange is not going to satisfy my need for chocolate, and chugging a bottle of water will never truly give me the same feeling of joy that a large Dr. Pepper will. And yes, I'm losing weight (!!!) and my clothes are fitting better (!!!) but I am just a little weary of the whole grind of the process. 
*I am also deeply sympathetic for people who have actual dietary restrictions and am fully aware that this counts as full-on whining. 

So, yes, the diet is actually going fine... I'm just mourning the loss of my teenage metabolism and the ability to plow through a bag of chips without stopping to count them or track the points later. Poor, poor me.

I deserve another Thin Mint.


Ash