The title is slightly misleading, since I suppose to be "over" something you must first be... what? Under it? I don't know... a fan of it or "for" it or something. I think most of these thing I never liked in the first place. However, I am now to the point that I would like to sentence them all to a long overdue demise. (Oh, and if you are bothered by any of these things... don't take it too personally. I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. =) I have decided to blaze on ahead and share this list, since several of you have confided in me recently that I "say what you're thinking." And so I shall continue to voice your innermost sarcastic thoughts that are just dying to see the light, if only for a few moments. =)
1. I am over the use of social media as a means to a) start drama, b) complain about your singleness, c) make
completely obvious "vague" criticisms of people (we know exactly who you're talking about!) d) shamelessly brag about your children (I mean constantly) e) post unfunny stories f) slaughter the king's English and make Americans sound even more ignorant than standardized testing would indicate.
PLEASE! For the love of all that is good and holy, use your Facebook/Twitter for good and not evil. I'm not saying that I have never posted anything negative or at least been tempted to start/join in drama, but come on. I hardly think Mark Zuckerburg sat down one day and thought, "I'm going to create a site where people can post whorish pictures of themselves or wallow in self-pity and gloom." I'd rather have a news feed full of Farmville requests than most of the junk I have to scroll through. (And yes, I'm aware that some may consider my posts "junk"... to each his own.) Stay classy, people!
Until then, there's the blessed "hide" option.
2. I am over people wearing tights/leggings/spandex/paint as pants. TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS!!! I am well aware that it is fashionably acceptable to wear leggings WITH a tunic-type top over them. THE TOP MUST COVER YOUR BUTT, otherwise you look really, really gross. This is not my "modest is hottest" opinion. If you Google the topic, you will find that many fashion gurus out there in the world agree with me.
Repeat after me, women of the world: tights are not pants. If you are one of the guilty, make this your mantra until it sinks in. If you share in my outrage, pass the message along to those who refuse to abide by this very necessary rule of thumb.
3. i'm over people who blog and go all ee cummings on everyone by not capitalizing things that should be capitalized. like, i'm ashley mcneese and this is my super-hipster blog where all grammar rules go out the window. nice to meet you. i'm from north carolina. see what i did there? no capitalization. i'm hangin' loose, baby.
Come on. Go back to third grade when you learned that stuff and don't be so lazy that you can't hit the caps lock key every few words.
4. Another blog "trend" I'm over...
People who center
in their entire post
in their entire post
one word or phrase
and think that it makes things
Nah. It just makes it difficult to follow and obnoxious. Sorry. (If you blog and you've done that... well, it just bugs me. Don't hate me or anything.)
5. I am over the Kardashians. Oh. my. word. Seriously, am I alone here? This famous-for-being-famous family has just been renewed by their network for another THREE years on the air. And people wonder why the glory days of entertainment are bygone. Hmm... what exactly have you gals achieved? A world-record brief relationship, getting flour-bombed, creating a skanky yet affordable clothing line for "sluts on a budget" that (shocker) only got picked up by Sears. (Insert snicker.) These people are not even marginally entertaining. Every time you watch them, your brain cells voluntarily commit suicide. So do yourself (and the world) a favor and boycott the K clan. Perhaps if enough people say no to stupidity, we can prevent ANOTHER few seasons of ridiculous airtime.
6. I am SO over low-rise pants. Waitresses, specifically, seem to have universally bonded together and made some sort of sacred pact to make sure their pants are as low as possible without actually falling off. Here's a tip, ladies: unless you weigh 92 pounds and have not a spare ounce of fat anywhere on your person, this look will accentuate the excess around your waist. High-waisted bottoms are very in right now, and I promise they are more flattering. (Seriously, though, what's with the waitresses? Am I the only one seeing it?)
7. I am over people who actually enjoy exercise. "Woo, awesome workout! I feel so invigorated!" Well, just stop. I would hit you but my good hand is in a bag of chips. Just kidding, I don't really hate all you people. Obviously, I'm just jealous because I am utterly lazy when it comes to physical exertion of any kind. But please don't gush so much about your killer workout today, for my sake. =)
8. I'm over people posting pictures of recipes/crafts/projects/etc. and saying "Thanks, Pinterest!" (I'm actually guilty of this.) I guess when Pinterest got popular a few months ago, it just became the thing to do to attribute every little move to this mecca of creativity. But now, it just gets on my nerves. If you've never been crafty or creative before and all of a sudden you are posting picture of the men's dress shirt you miraculously refashioned into skinny jeans, we'll all just assume Pinterest was the source of your genius. No thanks are necessary.
Well, that's all for now, folks. Have a fabulous day and may your troubles last no longer than a Kardashian relationship. =)